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AS Test Page

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Hello~

So, still learning a TON about making manga-styled comics, and I figured I'd give "manga paper" a shot--essentially paper with the bleed(parts that could get cut off by the printer) marked in--and since I didn't have the official stuff, I made my own. <^^> (Rather poorly, but it's just a test so oh well.) Anyway, so that's the reason for the big box around it, and the reason that the sides are "boxed" a little thicker than the top and bottom is because I couldn't decide whether it was an odd or even page--the bleed zone changes depending on how the page is situated in the book.

Anyway, what I've learned from watching a few videos on the subject is that, regardless, you draw to the edge of the bleed zone, but only put irrelevant details in the bleed zone--anything important you want in the innermost border, or "safe" zone--the stuff there is guaranteed to show up in the book.

Anyway, so like I said, this is just a test page, and other than Mintha's design, nothing else is set in stone--if anything, it's more set in water, by which I mean I did the opening of the book FROM MEMORY without looking at my original thumbnail(I tried to thumbnail for a page or two before deciding to script it) OR my script. I kinda just went for it. As such, it's terribly inaccurate, and there's more than a couple things that need to get changed but... Learning curve. Reason I'm doing this. <><'>

So, don't know if I'll line it or not, although I'm not entirely sure how I would--I just used normal copy paper, so nib pen and ink is out of the question(the paper would bleed far too much for me to get a clean line) but I do have a fine-liner or two... But... Eh, whatever. Trial and error right? Besides, right now I'm working on the style, not the technique. (Meaning that when I finally get to actually making it, THEN I'll go buy all the expensive professional stuff. IF I go the traditional paper route and don't just end up doing all my lining in photoshop anyway.)

So, I look forward hearing all your critiques! And feel free to go to town on me--this is a TEST page, so anything that I could improve on future pages(aside from LOOKING at my script and making a thumbnail first--will be doing those in the future) is something I want to hear!

...I'm also terribly aware I need to concept my backgrounds a little more... Fully? In say... Every panel but the first? (And the first could use a heck of a ton of revision to properly match my imagination?) But that's me being perfectionistic--just trying to get something of the style down. Something of it, while not losing my own style in the process...

One piece of advice I plan to follow if I end up lining this piece digitally is moving the whispering hyperbeions a bit more to the left--apparently they look like they're about to "fall out of the panel". <><> Hehehhehe~ I enjoy that too much. Thanks :iconkelly-dreamer:! I would also move and expand the wing detail further into the "safe" zone, just to make sure it's recognizable as a wing no matter what side the page would end up on.

So, enjoy!

-feline, out!
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Comments9
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Ando-An's avatar
The panel gap between the center two panels and the bottom panel looks odd to me. I sorta looks like you drew the subjects in the panels before you drew the panel's borders and the panel's trying to compensate by bending upward. It stood out to me right away. You definitely want to be creative with your panels but you don't want them to draw attention away from the subjects within them. 

I'd put a tiny bit more detail in the background just so it looks more like people and buildings. The person's face in the left middle panel looks awkwardly cut off by the panel border. I think it's ok to have her face fully visible, it looks like they're a key part of the focus of the panel. Or I'd just flip her and have her facing away from us. Watch out for tangents too, the pillar in the top panel on the left touches the bleed line. Aaaand that's all I got, hope it helps!